i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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