It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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