tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize