she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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