I wanna bring you to show and tell
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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