That's when you crack a 10am beer
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Panties = found
Randomize