hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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