apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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