I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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