Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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