Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize