just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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