she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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