I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
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blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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