My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize