I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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