She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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