OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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