she's into porn, im staying here tonight
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
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How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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