Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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