please come you make the beer taste better
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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