first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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