Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
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Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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