Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
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