I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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