between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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