I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize