Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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