The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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