You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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