Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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