if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize