dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize