please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize