I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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