drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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