at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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