I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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