Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize