dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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