look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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