Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
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Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
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Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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