O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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