I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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