standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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