Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize