are you still at the devil's house?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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