I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
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Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
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Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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