i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize