I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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